Pool of tears and misery

My Love,
There was a time everything seems to remind me of your greatness
the lush emerald grass sprawling outside my classroom
the calm vast blue sky lightened with rays of sunshine
and I tilt my head basking happily in that afternoon light
in my heart saying what a glorious day
marching with Aidans with you in my heart

There was a time when calling out your name brought tears rolling down my cheek
I can still recall the days when your name always on my lips
never a second wasted not to think of you my great love
waiting at the bus stop while dangling my feet
I looked at the soft cloudy cloud and my lips said
my Love is such a magnificent creator,You are so Great
and tears would cloud my eyes just by saying your name

There was a time I stood immobilized in front of your house
my covered feet fixed on the marbled ground while my hands clenched tightly
my heart longed for you so much I just couldn't say goodbye
I came accepting your call, pressed my childish face in your velvet cloak
as I touched my head to the ground I cried wishing I could stay near to you all my life
my bony fingers caressed the cold hard marble
praying fervently that this feeling will last forever until the end of time

There was a time when I believed your name would beat every second in my heart
say His name for thousands times, everyday, every seconds, until you breathe the name
Allah is Great in every beat of my heart
Allah is Great as I breathe in life
Whenever there was trouble I would touch my palm to the heart
there it was the beatings...my Love is still with me I would say
Your angels surrounding me so I shall be fine
There was nothing that could make me sway from this love

But there was a time when you decided to test my self-proclaimed love
There were so many distractions that made my mind lost in tangled web
Each time I looked back, I could still see the light but as I grew older it gets dimmer
Turn back a small voice said to me a while ago
Turn back now or you shall never see the light
my heart was still beating but each beat gave echo in this hollow chest
I could not turn back
There were so many obstacles and the hardest obstacle blocked my light
At that point I let myself drown and lost in this labyrinth
never to return again
never to see the light again
never to feel the greatness of my Love again

Now is the time when I stare straight into the light so far but yet so near
deep in the abyss of darkness beyond the tangled, twisted web
I reach out my aged fingers, tilt my womanly face, eyes straining towards the light
tears dripped from my lifted fingers
As I look around me I realised how far have I lost myself in this pool of tears
fixing my eyes at the light I kicked and swam towards the light
oblivious to the tangled web
ignoring the piercing thorn
shoving with all my might at the obstacle that blocked my light
I am running away, far away from drowning in that pool of tears and misery

As I swim towards the light, I wish my heart would beat as it used to
As I step on the rough ground, I pray I could live strong oblivious to distractions
As I crawl towards you, I believe that you will run towards me
As I stride to the beginning, I promise myself never to lose my Love again
As the light grows brighter, my heart soar knowing everything is going to be ok.

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syatabdrahman said...

kakak, its so heart-touching and very beautiful..wuwuwuwuwuw!!! sedihnye i baca, si kakak!! mari sini i bawak you pegi makan yong tau foo~

kakak, boleh tak i letak post ni kat my blog, daripada you?

nenek kebayan hot said...

hoho boleh aje si bulat!
u nak bawai mkn yong tao foo??

bagos bagos sbb i mmg tgh lapar nih!