Some say if you are hurt, that means you have low self-esteem.

Others say you are too sensitive. Just ignore it, it's just 'words'.

Few say words are just words, shut your ears if you can't stand them!

Words are combination of vocabularies to form a complete sentence, which carries an intention or at least, attention. Words are basically formed with tongue and lips movement accompanied with sound produced by something that vibrated in our throat, thus when we speak no harmful objects such as knife, needle nor poison will come out from our mouth. However, some formed words can hurt and cut deep. This hurtful words can cause serious harm as mentioned by Kelbra Fleiss in How words can Hurt , 'the accumulation of words that hurt can destroy your ego and break your heart'.

So how important is our ego and our heart?

Ego in 'self' term is your conciousness of your own identity (from web). Whereas heart is where we supposedly feel pain that is somewhere in the chest area.

Therefore:

1. 'For a salesperson, it takes a strong ego to face rejection, refusal and the rigours of constantly having to persuade someone to see his/her point of view' (Billy Brooks, Importance of Ego).

2. For a mother, it takes a strong heart to listen to a teacher's complaint about her beloved child.

Hurling hurtful words to a person is a form of abusion. If you have been verbally abused and someone said you are hurt because you have low self-esteem, please stop figuring out are you or are you not because you are not! The fact is, the one that suffers from low self-esteem is the person who use those cruel words to others. 'They are the ones who feel insecure about themselves, so they make up for it by putting others down' (Kelbra Fleiss).

I guess, low self-esteem can bring out the worst of a person.

So, how do you handle a verbal abuser?

Kelbra suggested walking away from the person or respond with humour.

For me, I find it easier if I can laugh off the malice by making jokes and laughing about myself. It reverses the effect that abuser wanted to achieve. But, be cautious because excessive jokes about yourself can make you not be taken seriously by others or it may stress you out. I wish I can share my hurtful experience here but nope, this article is simply meant to create awareness about verbal abuse :)

Kelbra also mentioned that the word 'I' is very powerful to a person ego.

I believe that is true. No matter how difficult your abuser can be, if you use the word 'I', nobody can say anything about it. And yes, sometimes huge ego is crucial!

A simple example would be:

Bedah: Oh my Tijah... you're wearing green contact lenses. Why? Are you trying to look in-the-fashion?...you look fake...but ok laaa... from a distance, they do look great! Ermm...maybe you should try other brands...

Tijah: Really!! Thank you! I like it fake :)

# Maybe there are better examples of situations and comebacks but that's the best I can come out with,heh ;)

p/s: Oh yea, in this context, the abuser's weapon ranges from snide remarks, sarcastic comments, cynical feedbacks, spiteful conversations, malicious gossips, mean wishes, disparaging lectures, and getting acrimonious answers...

I have no idea how to handle a person who curses loudly to my face or getting seriously horny remarks or being threatened... I pray that it will not happen to me!